Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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