I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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