Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
