So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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