I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize