like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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