How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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