Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
