I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My cat gives me a boner
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Randomize
