Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down