Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"