Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
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it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
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He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there