dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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