Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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