i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
