The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
