4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
