maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
