I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
be right there i have to get my cape
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
