just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
