I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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