all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The power of my boobs compel you
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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