It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
