The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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