their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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