i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
