I've blown a few things in my day
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
