At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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