i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
