He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
