lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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