Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
