we have pet lesbian snakes
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Holy sore nipples Batman
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
