In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
