So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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