you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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