Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
