Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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