I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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