So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
