Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
