hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
