Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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