My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
