God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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