I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i dont even know how to be here
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
