I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
