They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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