I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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