Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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