Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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