Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
