Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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