She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
