I wanna bring you to show and tell
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
