2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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