oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I want a musical about memes.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
