i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We smell like vodka and hangover
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