no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
