Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
