i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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