woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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