I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
