he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
