Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I still have a little drunk in my system
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm too high and old for this...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
