Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
